Advice Column #1: Trust

Trust is a funny thing. It's not faith, although the two are closely related. Faith is trusting that you will wake up to see another day. Trust, however, is not having faith that you will see morning. You may trust God that he will wake you up. Faith is in things. Trust is in people. Get the difference yet?

I made the clarity between the two because while I am a woman of faith, I find it very difficult to trust people. We all have walls, some more than others, and I am one of the people who have more walls than average. So I find it hard to open up to people just to open up to them, to trust that what I tell them they won't use against me. I'm thinking that this will eventually help me in the long run with my pursuit of a career associated with psychology, but for now, while I am a senior in high school, it is hinders more than helps me.

We all have our issues. These issues are what form us into the people we are today. It's not that some of us have less than others, it's just that some of us are better equipped to handle such circumstances than others. Some are stronger than others and can push on past their breaking point; some aren't as persistent and end up having an emotional breakdown once or twice a year. Or month. But this doesn't mean that those of us who break down are weak; it just means that others have a stronger forefront.

No one can go through life alone. We are much better able to cope with the stresses of life if we have someone to rely on. However, this requires trust. Our generation is accused of being a rather dramatic one, but can we all just stop for a second and wonder where this drama is coming from? Parents, you are the first people your children will learn to trust. So listen to them even while they're young, and don't critique them harshly. Mothers, don't go gossiping to your girlfriends about what your child did/said. Fathers, don't just roll your eyes and tell your kids to go tell their mothers. (Of course not all trust issues stem from a bad relationship with ones parents, but for the sake of my argument, I'm only covering this point.)

So we know [one of] the initial cause[s] of trust issues. How do we cure it? Obviously we can't go back in time and hope that our parents treat us better. If we were to do that, our parents would have to go back in time and hope that their parents will treat them better. We can't go back in time to fix whatever it was that happened to ruin our trust in others. That option was out even before it was mentioned. So what can we do? We can sit here and hope for a person to come into our lives that is worthy of our trust and then when they do come, we can make them our best friend. But if the entire world did that where would that get us? No where. So what do we do?

We be the person we want to be friends with.

Am I suggesting that we start talking to ourselves? No. I am suggesting that you go out into the world and be the type of person you want your best friend to be. Be the person that people confide in. There's no guarantee that the favor will be returned, but you're definitely going to have a better chance at finding the right type of person this way. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." There is no better advice that I can give you than this. (Now if only I could take credit for that quote!)

As a side note: it's not when you have so many "friends" that you know that you are living your life right, or even when people "wish that they were you." You know you're living an exemplary life when people say that they wish they were "more like you."